It takes a lot of work to build a relationship.
No matter what kind of relationship...
As time goes by with that relationship, things change. New ways of doing things must be found. The old ways are no longer best; they just don't work any longer.
A marriage that began 30-something years ago changes when one is diagnosed with dementia...
And that disease is getting worse.
Which means new ways of doing things are sure to be needed.
Those changes are not always easy either.
Take the driving issue...
{No, he still has not accepted it!}
It's not that I have to drive him around now. I have been doing most of the driving anyway!
No, it's all about his idea that he cannot drive himself any longer, if he did want to go somewhere.
But, it's working out just the way it should be; and he hasn't lost out on anything that would have been done anyway!
And when that relationship is filled with other "factors" - hearing loss, dementia, forgetfulness, outbursts and anger, not accepting what is to be...
It takes a lot out of the relationship. Many thoughts of wanting things to be like it was before.
Yet, knowing it will never be like that again.
The focus should be on building the now and the future, instead of the past.
And that focus is an every day one!
We must allow ourselves the time to grieve the old, and prepare for the new.
We must allow the time to take care of ourselves in order to have the strength for what comes before us.
We must step back and take a look at "what is" so we can take care of the relationship in the "what is to be"...
And therefore continue to build that relationship for years to come, regardless of what comes.
This...
I continue to learn new and different ways of doing life, each and every day!
Go to Write 28 Days 2019 for a list of all posts for this challenge.
To check out my first Write 31 Days challenge from 2014, "31 Days of Dementia's Demands", go to Barbara's Blog.
No comments:
Post a Comment