Thursday, November 9, 2017

The Eyes of Time



This poem was written a few years ago and shared on my other blog under the label "Poetry"; check it out here.

As I was reading back over some of my poetry, I felt inspired to write more about some of them; not to add to what I had originally written, but to look at the why...

Why did I feel inspired to write more about this particular poem?

Well, just looking at the person this poem was written about brought me back to over 30 years ago when I first met him.

His eyes were the most beautiful blue!  I think that is what drew me to him.  They had a little sparkle in them and lit up when I approached him and began a conversation.

Yes, I am the one that approached him!!

Not the first blond hair blue-eyed musician I've had a crush on; the first was when I was a teenager!

The second one, a divorced 30 something mother of two!

I took a chance and approached him, asking if he ever took a break...

And when I asked him if he wanted to dance during a break, his eyes sparkled as a smile spread across his face.

I guess I have always been drawn to blue-eyed musicians!

And, on that day in May, two years ago, when I looked at those blue eyes more than thirty years from that first approach...

I realized they were not as clear and didn't sparkle as much as back then.

It had me thinking:

What else has changed about this person that I was so drawn to all those years ago?

And the poem enfolded...




The Eyes of Time



Blue eyes
Once bright
And sparkling,
Flashing to and fro,
Watching,
Taking it all in.

Now,
The sparkle gone;
The tiredness obvious;
What memories
Behind those
Blue eyes,
No longer bright,
No longer sparkling.

Blond hair -
Thinning,
A spot balding;
Endearing.

Now,
No longer blond -
When did the gray
Become more prominent?
The balding spot
Filling your head?

You shuffle
Down the walk,
Slower and slower -
Steps once quick and sure,
No longer sure;
Which way to turn?

Did the eyes see...
When
You became
Older?
When
Life
Slowed down...
A slower pace?

How long 'til slow
Becomes slower...
Becomes slowed...
Becomes...
Stopped?

Do the eyes know...
How long before
You no longer go...
On your own?

So much of life behind;
How much is left ahead?
How much?

The eyes of time -
They see...
So much!
They know...
So much!

The eyes of time...

{BJLondon - May, 2015}



So, as I move on through this journey of dementia with my blond hair blue-eyed husband...

My eyes look hard for the person he once was; and the changes that age and disease have brought about in the man I met and fell for so long ago.

It reminds me of the person that used to be.

And that makes him even more endearing to me;

Because, deep inside he is still the same person... 

And together we will continue on this journey that I have come to think of as "dementia's demands."



Wednesday, November 8, 2017

Door of Hope


Currently I am reading "Splashes of Joy in the Cesspools of Life" by Barbara Johnson.

Though the second chapter deals with grief following the death of a loved one, the words and the recovery, are similar in other losses or tragedies...

Even in situations faced with the day to day issues of caring for someone with dementia and hearing loss; whose symptoms may be getting somewhat worse, with random outbursts and ugliness.

In Mrs. Johnson's words, I find there is hope:

"...the heavy mantle of (grief) that has been weighing you down is lifted.  You will actually be able to hear music again.  The birds will be singing, the sun will be shining, you will realize that God has brought you through.  You have survived, and you can lay down your agonies..."

Yes, the time comes when you get through it; when you can find those "splashes of Joy."  And, with the Joy, comes Hope:

"I will...transform her Valley of Troubles into a Door of Hope."  (Hosea 2:15 TLB - The Living Bible)

Perhaps there is something to learn in the pages of this book!

Reading on into Chapter 3, titled "We Must Understand That It Is Not Always Necessary to Understand", I find more doors and hope references:

"There Is a door of hope, you know, and you not only can find that door, but you can walk confidently through it with a smile or even a chuckle when you get to the other side."

I will continue to Learn to Lean!  And will continue to read the words found in this book; a rather old one with words that may appear dated, but they are oh so timely in words I am needing to hear!

This book, and other resources, may not be referring to the Joy and Hope we have through our Savior; but they are words of reassurance...

Those times when He speaks to be me through the words of others in a book, or a quote, or another blog post, or even in the dialog of a movie.

His words make their way to those who need to hear them, when they need to hear them!

"Those who need to hear them"...

Like me!

Perhaps you have the need to hear a word from Him...

Just be open to what the words you read or hear are saying to you.  It just might be what He is saying to you through them!



Simple Woman's Daybook - November 6, 2017






FOR TODAY
November 6, 2017


The last week of October, with its cooler days and new pops of color!  The first week of November, with holidays and birthdays and a time for Thanksgiving...

Just the beginning of the wonderful holidays and all that comes with it!

And I am looking forward to all of those holidays!


Looking Out My Window:
Last week we had a few days of cooler weather: days beginning with temps in the 40's and moving towards warmer by noon; temps like the 70's...

Which I can totally handle!

It has warmed up again; as usual...

Hopefully more cool weather is around the corner!


I Am Thinking:
About all of the violence in this country; and abroad!  What is this world coming to?

The only thing we can hope for at this point...

That God will take it in His hands and make something good out of it all.

What good can come from this?  I don't know!  But, with God, all things are possible.



I Am Thankful:
For my loving family and friends!  I pray they know how much they mean to me; you never know when the time will come that they are no longer in our lives...

It was just two weeks ago that I heard of the death of a friend and fellow scrapper...

At age 48, she died of a massive heart attack.  I cannot forget that, and the friendship we had.


One of My Favorite Things:
Family gatherings!

Whether we get together to go someplace - like when we go to the zoo or a park with the grandkids;

Or we get together to celebrate a birthday - like the 18th birthday of my oldest grandson!

I love getting together with the family!  And with the holidays, there will be many more opportunities to do that!


I Am Creating:
Well, I have been sick for nearly three weeks!  The most creating I did was at the retreat a week ago...

And, most of that was helping to put together die cuts for swaps and for the live auction at the puppy crop.

But, I will be back creating again  this weekend...


I Am Wearing:
A pair of gray shorts and a blue t-shirt with turtles on the back...

And a pair of pink and white socks!


I Am Reading:


A small book I picked up the other day when I was needing something to read; "Blessings" by Anna Quindlan...

I think I bought it at the Dollar Tree!  Cheap, but sometimes I find one that sounds really good and add it to my stash of "to read" books.


I Am Hoping:

There's that word again!

Hope

I am hoping that the holidays last longer than the "fly by" days that we've been having lately!

I want to treasure every day and every hour of the holidays.


I Am Learning:
Perhaps the key to keeping the peace at home is to be at home more often!

Though I don't plan to stay home every day and every hour of those days, at least to be home more often.

Or, plan a few outings that he and I can enjoy together.

Perhaps that is the key!


In My Kitchen: 
Dishes have been put into the dishwasher.

Clothes washing will wait another day or two except for the sheets.

Dinner is leftover pulled pork, green beans and baked beans, cole slaw and potato salad...

Leftovers from the weekend family get together at Cathy's house!


Shared Quote:
As usually happens when I am looking for a quote, I can find one on my friend Caitlyn's Facebook page; but it's usually "front and center" when I open up my Facebook page!


"Tears mean it mattered..."

Yes, that is where I am today after learning of the deceit of a so-called friend.  I pray for her to realize what she is doing, not only in pushing people away from her, but what she is doing to herself...

But, it hurts!


A Moment From My Day:
Hugs and kisses and more hugs from the grandkids!

I will always love those times!

~~~~~~~



And another post for the Simple Woman's Daybook has been written!

Join me again for another "chapter" in the life of this simple woman!