Saturday, December 7, 2019

Helping You Find JOY



A year ago I was driving down the road - can't remember where I was or where I was going!  But there, right in front of me, was a BIG billboard advertising a radio station...announcing that they would "Help you find JOY this Christmas"!

JOY!  My word for the year...the past few years!  And, yes!  I definitely could use a little bit of JOY this Christmas!!



Picture that in a very big billboard, right in front of me...

That really caught my attention!!

I have really been trying for several years to "find joy"  Or to at least write on my blog about the joys that surround me...surround all of us.

Yes.  My "word for the year" has been JOY.  For the past few years!

I figured if I couldn't find it or write about it in one year, I'd just keep trying...still failing year after year.

Last year I read a verse that used HOPE along with JOY...

"May the God of HOPE fill you with all JOY and PEACE..."  (Romans 15:13 NIV).

I decided to use both HOPE and JOY, or whatever word I felt inspired to write about!


Well, my writing still hasn't taken off again...a few ideas here or there that really didn't go anywhere.  But, I did find JOY in the music I listened to on that radio station.  Some made me cry; others made me smile, knowing it was the perfect thing I needed at that exact moment!


Now, a year later, I am still listening to JOY FM; and was happy when they started playing 24-hour Christmas music recently.  The truth is I have been watching the Hallmark Christmas movies since they started airing them...in October!  And, could also listen to the music that early!!

The year since I first saw that billboard hasn't been all joyful.  With the ups and downs of a caregiver for my husband who has dementia and hearing loss, each day is a challenge.  Many days are spent in my craft room making something, or on the computer chatting online with friends.

On days I have errands to do away from home, he always wants to tag along to "get out of the apartment".  Those outings can also be challenging; and we don't always see eye to eye on what we will do (or most often, buy or eat!).

Today was one of those days!

I was determined not to let his attitude, mood or words make the outing something to dread.  I turned the volume up on the radio where JOY FM was playing its usual Christmas music, and started singing along...

His "Whaaat?  What did you say?!" in an ugly way, was answered with my "Nothing!  I am singing along with the radio!"  Which he didn't hear right away and I had to repeat a few times.  (This is typical of the way our conversations go; ending in a lot of ugliness and frustration, mostly on his part, but mine too.)

A silent prayer helped.  And what was the next thing I heard from the radio...

"Happy Holidays!  May your..."

I smiled and silently thanked Him for putting JOY back into my day!


God's blessings weren't done yet, though!

Later, just before arriving at our last stop, God assured me He was with me through the words of one of my favorite Christmas songs, "Breath of Heaven", sung by Amy Grant.



These words always make the tears fall freely down my cheeks; especially these...

"Do you wonder as you watch my face
If a wiser one should have had my place
But I offer all I am
For the mercy of your plan
Help me be strong
Helm me be
Help me!"

I can just feel the pain and hear the pleas in the last three lines!  Pleas from one who has no idea what the future holds; and is crying out to the only One who can help...


Someone like me!!

So, a year after finding joy through a radio station called JOY, I continue to find joy through music.  And through the stories and lyrics and other everyday banter that touches my heart and keeps me going!


Thank you, JOY FM!!  And thank you God for for that billboard right in front of my face that "Helped me find JOY during Christmas" and always!


{Check out the JOY FM on your radio station!!  Find it here on Facebook.  Let them help YOU find JOY too!}







Tuesday, June 4, 2019

JUST DO IT!


Flow



Wasn't it Nike that used the phrase Just Do It? 
Encouraging their customers to slip on a pair of their athletic shoes and go for it!  Stop holding back and... Just Do It!




That's the key...

Stop holding back!!

At least...


I think that's the key to my problem!!

But instead of Just DO It...

What I need to think about is to...


Just SAY It!

Say what's on my mind.


Say what it is that I need!

Say what I have in my heart...

Not in a bad way, but...

Ask for help when I need to; understand what I am going through, and let me know you are there for me, to do what you can to support my efforts.  Make sure I get the companionship that I crave when I feel I am all alone in my situation; or just plain all alone in life!

When I am not surrounded by my "tribe", my "peeps", my family and friends, I begin to turn into myself and feel as if I am all alone.  As if nobody cares about what is happening over my way...

I know everybody has their own "stuff" going on; just as I have mine.  It's when I get into one of those "funks" that I begin to feel this way and think of myself as being the only one.

What I need is for others to understand that I get that way sometimes too; and I need them as much as they may need me!

That's all I want to say...

Just think about me sometimes, too.

I love those last minute outings to do something fun; or just hang out together...give me a 30 minute's notice, and I'm all in!

I love talking on the phone when there's time to have a nice chat.  But, a nice chat on the computer can be just as great!!  (Just ask my "sis" in Texas!!!)  As long as we can communicate with each other, I feel connected.


But, there are still those days when I really just want to be at home.  I know the time will come when I won't be able to leave hubby alone.  Ever!  Unless I get a "sitter" for him, so I can run an errand or two, it will be me here with him 24/7.

That day will come.

But until that day does come, I need to take care of myself and allow for times away from home; whether with family or friends, or even alone.

And, that's when I will...

Just DO it!

Now that I have Just SAID it!







Monday, April 22, 2019

Write 28 Days - Day 20 - Glory



Time has totally gotten away from me!!  I haven't done very well with the "Write 28 Days" challenge; in fact, I haven't done much writing at all lately!  But I am still determined to finish this challenge!

The word for Day 22 is:  Glory.




What an appropriate word for this "Easter Monday"!

Yesterday, in a pew-filled church, we were all "filled with His Glory"!  From the organ music that called us into worship; to the glory on the faces of four children and one adult, baptized by our young minister; to the anthems sang by our choir; to the taking of Communion; and the glorious benediction anthem that raised the roof on our sanctuary...


We were all filled with the Glory of God!









We were all "surrounded by His Glory"...


Yes!  We were all surrounded by His Glory!!  "I can only Imagine what it will be..."

And sitting right next to me...was my husband!  Most Sundays I drive him to his church where he spends about an hour in fellowship with his church family.

Last Sunday, it was my week to serve as Deacon; and he went with me.  Since I had to serve during communion, he just sat out in the foyer and waited for me.

And again yesterday, since I really wanted to attend my church, he wanted to go with me again!  So, I sat with him during the whole service.

While he was a little confused, and didn't remember what I had told him would "happen", he did stay in the pew the whole service!

He may not have heard or seen much of what was going on around him, but as each person spoke to him, he smiled and shook his head.

And when he greeted our young pastor after worship, the smile spread even wider across his face was priceless.

God's Glory shone through all that messed up brain caused by the dementia.

And let me into his world just a little bit more.

Thank you, God, for the messed up people in this world.  For those who raise the roof on a church building; and those whose smiles when baptized lifted those in the congregation.  For the words of special hymns and new anthems, and the group of people sharing their talent to sing them.  For pastors young and old who have prepared us all to live in Your Glory.

Thank you for what Palm Sunday and Easter Sunday mean for us; but especially for what You did for us in sending your Son to this earth...

And now you prepare a place for us when our time comes to enter into Heaven along with you and all the other Angels who have gone before us.

Thank you for this Easter Monday.  May we always live in the moment and share what you have done for us.

Amen.  And Amen!



Go to Write 28 Days 2019 for a list of all  posts for this challenge.  Even though the challenged ended on February 28th, I am still attempting to write the last few posts; it's taking me a while, but I do plan to finish the rest of the prompted words!







To check out my first Write 31 Days challenge from 2014, "31 Days of Dementia's Demands", go to Barbara's Blog.

Thursday, April 18, 2019

What would I do?



What Would I Do?


Right...What would I do?  Whom would I call?

In case of an emergency, what would I do and whom would I call?

Well, for sure, I would call the emergency number...

"911...What's your emergency?"

That's the first phone call.

But, then?

That's something I have been considering the past few days.  And, it's not the first I have thought about it.

"Who is in your circle?"  We were asked this question in one of our support meetings.  We even had a sheet of paper with questions, and drew our circles and filled in those persons in the circles...

Starting with "you" in the center, then draw the circles around you of your "team" or "tribe" or however you describe them...

The closest one to you is the one you receive the most help from.

And that would be...

I am really not sure!

I think it all depends on what the emergency is.

When I was having pains in my lower back, neck and chest...yeah!  Those pains!

I kept thinking about what I would do.  As I rested in my recliner, hoping the pains would ease up, that is what my mind was on.

Thankfully, the pains did ease up.  But, I never really answered the questions.

First is to keep my cell phone charged; and keep it close by.  Someone from my support group told me to make sure I had my cell phone when I went into the bathroom, especially when in the shower...

How would I get to it if I didn't have it nearby, and fell?

After thinking about the possibility of falling or passing out, I took my container of medications and put it on the counter.  I wanted to have it handy in case I did have to call 911 and needed to let them know where it was.

Could my husband answer their questions?  Probably not.  He wouldn't even hear them.  He wouldn't even hear me tell him I needed help.  He would make fun of it...

Yes!  Make fun of it!  I don't think he realizes that I can get sick too.  That perhaps I may be in some kind of medical emergency situation.

What would he do?

This is all going on the fact that I would be able to do anything!

What if it were an emergency and I couldn't even communicate my needs?

I don't really know the answers to these questions; but I need to.

I need to have a game plan!  A list of emergency contacts, like the family, doctors, neighbors or the office (at the apartments).

I need to have the medications in a handy spot; for both of us.

I need to know who can come get my husband if I am the one having the emergency.

I need to...

I need...

And at least this post is a first step.

In fact, I do have a notebook started with these things; or some of them.  So, I need to get it completed.  As complete as I can possibly do; and keep updating it as time goes on, like new medications and new doctors.

So...next steps are to get busy with these and other things that need to be documented for the family.

And that's my task until it is complete:

Figure out "what would I do" and get started on that notebook and the emergency contact list...

What about you?  Do you have an emergency list on hand?  It is something to think about before that emergency happens...




Wednesday, March 27, 2019

Write 28 Days - Day 21 - Just {FMF)



It's hard to believe the month of March will end this coming weekend.  I haven't done very well with this challenge; but am determined to write the rest of the words that were given...

So, for Day 21, which was a Five Minute Friday prompt, the word is:  JUST.

This word can be used in various ways:

1.  adj. - "showing no favor; true/correct.
2.  adv. - "(a) exactly, very nearly/ almost; (b) used to indicate the immediate past or future (he's just arrived; (c) only (we're just good friends); (d) now (at the present moment)."  
{Definitions from the "Newly Revised Edition of Webster's Student Dictionary"}

It's hard to say what I am trying to say!  I haven't been able to write lately, and the words just aren't coming...or they aren't very clear!

Not knowing what my future - or my husband's - keeps me on my feet to do what I can to be prepared!

That's not how it's supposed to work, is it?

We should...I should...be able to just trust God that everything will be OK.

That He has everything taken care of; He is with me all the way.

Yeah?  Easier said than done!

But...



Or, in other words:

You don't need to know the future to take the first step into it!

We...I...should not lose hope!


God works in "God Time"!

When the time is right...

His "right time".

I really do know that; and understand it...

In my head!  And, in my heart!

But my first reactions are to just do it!  As independent a person as I am, that is what my first reaction would be.

Not to step back and let God do it!



And that is just what I need to do!  Step back and let God do it in His time; and have the faith that He Will!

There will still be times when I just can't let it go!  When I have no idea what I want or need...

At those times, when I don't have the words to ask for what I want or need, I can just say one simple word...

One "simple" word that is so powerful!!

Just Say "Jesus"

Listen to these words:


Here are the words to this powerful song:
Just Say "Jesus"

Life gets tough, and times get hard
It’s hard to find the truth in all the lies
If you’re tired of wondering why
Your heart isn’t healing
And nothing feels like home
Cause your lost and alone just screaming at the sky

When you don’t know what to say
Just Say Jesus
There is power in the name
The Name of Jesus
If the words won’t come
Cause you’re too afraid to pray
Just Say Jesus

Whisper it now, or shout it out
However it comes out, He hears your cry
Out of nowhere He will come-you got to believe it
He will rescue you
Just call out to the Way, The Truth, The Life

When you don’t know what to say
Just Say Jesus
There is power in the name
The Name of Jesus
If the words won’t come
Cause you’re to afraid to pray
There is just One name
Strong enough to save
There is just One name
There is just One name
Jesus

When you don’t know what to say
Just Say Jesus
There’s still power in the name
The Name of Jesus
If the words won’t come
Cause you’re too afraid to pray
If the words won’t come
And you don’t know what to say
Just Say Jesus





Go to Write 28 Days 2019 for a list of all  posts for this challenge.  Even though the challenged ended on February 28th, I am still attempting to write the last few posts; it's taking me a while, but I do plan to finish the rest of the prompted words!



To check out my first Write 31 Days challenge from 2014, "31 Days of Dementia's Demands", go to Barbara's Blog.





Thursday, March 7, 2019

Write 28 Days - Day 23 - Reach




Today is Thursday, March 7th; the day after Ash Wednesday.  The beginning of the Season of Lent...

I should be thinking of the days leading up to the Resurrection of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

The One who died on the cross...

For US!

But instead, what am I doing...

I am reaching out to my computer for the words that will help me focus.

Words that will help me to see that I am not alone!

There are others around me - though not directly in front of me - who understand.  Those who will listen and help me to focus.

Yet, I feel stuck.  I feel there is nobody that understands exactly what I am going through.

I reach out to Him who has my future - and my now - in His hands.

Yet...

I feel alone!

I feel stuck!

I feel lost!

Yet...

I still feel.

There is something to be said about that...

Even as I reach into the nothing in front of me.

I still feel...



Go to Write 28 Days 2019 for a list of all  posts for this challenge.  Even though the challenged ended on February 28th, I am still attempting to write the last few posts!


To check out my first Write 31 Days challenge from 2014, "31 Days of Dementia's Demands", go to Barbara's Blog.




Thursday, February 28, 2019

Write 28 Days - Day 19 - Survive



Every day is different.

Every day brings a new challenge.

Each night when I lay my head on the pillow, I pray for a good night's rest...

So I can wake to a new day...

Full of more challenges.

But when I put my feet on the floor and walk out of the room, I know that I have survived yet another day of this journey.


And I know that by taking the steps one day at a time, little by little...



I will survive!



Go to Write 28 Days 2019 for a list of all  posts for this challenge.



To check out my first Write 31 Days challenge from 2014, "31 Days of Dementia's Demands", go to Barbara's Blog.




Wednesday, February 27, 2019

Write 28 Days - Day 18 - Create



Seriously, for me to create is not hard!!  I love to create, and anybody that really knows me will know that!

Scrapbook layouts, cards, tags, and many other crafts are always in the process of being created.


I am fortunate to have a room dedicated to my crafting.  All mine!

Being retired certainly has its advantages!

And, I can spend all day everyday creating if I want...

For now, I am still able to get away and craft with friends, either at a location where we go for our events, or to a retreat.

At some point, I know that most of my creations will be done at home.  As my husband gets to the point of not being able to be left alone, I will have to reconsider how I get my crafting done.

Currently, I am cleaning off my craft table and packing things up so I can load my car on Friday morning and head down the road for a weekend retreat...

Only about 10 minutes away!

I will enjoy the day and head home around 8 or 9, or earlier if needed, and sleep at home.  The next morning, I will get up, dress, eat breakfast and head back to the hotel.

That's what I do when the retreats are in town and that close to our apartment.

One day...

That will also be limited!

But, for now, I am blessed to be able to create in various places!

Well, talking about my creations...

I guess I should show off a few!!


Scrapbook Layout created
for a page swap at retreat


Surfing Santa
Christmas Cards


Drapery Fold
Christmas Cards


A "one-of-a-kind"
Christmas Card


There are so many more creations I could share; but that's a totally different blog!!

I hope you find time for your own special kinds of creations!



Go to Write 28 Days 2019 for a list of all  posts for this challenge.

To check out my first Write 31 Days challenge from 2014, "31 Days of Dementia's Demands", go to Barbara's Blog.


Write 28 Days - Day 17 - Surrender


When I hear the word "Surrender" it makes me think that I am giving up!  That there is no way for things to work out.  That the only thing to do is to raise my hands over my head and let someone else take over.

Like, when a war victim surrenders to his enemy; lets them take him to another location where he becomes their prisoner.

Sometimes, these conditions are far from decent for the prisoner!

I am certainly not someone's prisoner!

Yet there are many times I want to just "to raise my hands over my head and let someone else take over."

That seems to be the easiest way through this journey...

When I have no idea where it is going to lead us.

Perhaps this is what I need to do:



If I could just give up trying to understand how this is suppose to work; how I am suppose to handle all of the uncertainties.  How do I know what is the right thing(s) to do for my husband and myself.

Perhaps if I could just surrender to  what is unknown and let the "Power that be" take care of our current situation, as well as the future.



Perhaps just having a little more faith in what God has in store for us...

Now and in the future.

Perhaps what I need to do is surrender...

Lord, I surrender all!!



This hymn is one of my all-time favorites...





Go to Write 28 Days 2019 for a list of all  posts for this challenge.



To check out my first Write 31 Days challenge from 2014, "31 Days of Dementia's Demands", go to Barbara's Blog.