As I was sitting hunched over the computer in my
craft/computer room, concentrating on whatever I was working on…
My husband came up behind me and began to scratch my
back. I started moving my shoulders and
saying, “a little lower,” “no, to the left”…and he grinned like he’d given me the
best gift ever!
Well, for that moment in time, he had given me the best
gift! It doesn't happen very often; and it brightened my day and also
gave him joy in knowing he had!
Once again, I was busy…
Is it the same if wife is busy at the computer, and husband
– who has dementia and can sometimes ACT like a kid (not at heart!) – comes in
with a bunch of wildflowers for her?!
I would have to say…YES!!
Once again, it made my day a little brighter; and I think I can do
this…one more day; and then one more day…then one day at a time!
So, what about the times when the little things are BIG
things; not the good big things either!
What about the times when he blows up at you and makes you feel less
than? What about those times?
The little stabs in the back that become words of hatred;
only to be forgotten a few minutes later…not forgotten by me; but forgotten by
he who spoke those words. And, don’t
even waste your breath trying to talk about it…he’s like, “I don’t know what
you’re talking about! What do you
mean?”
Right! He doesn’t even remember that he had said
anything hurtful. He doesn’t even have a
clue! Then, I become the one who has
blown up or shown myself to be mean and ugly.
And, I am the one that usually blows up and it does seem as if I am the
ugly one!
It’s not easy…in fact, it’s quite hard!
Then, he comes in and hands me a shiny penny he found in the
parking lot.
Or, with a grin as big as ever, he brings me a box of
chocolates he bought on clearance at the corner drug store. Like a child, bringing his mom a bouquet of
wildflowers...
He tries. I know he
does! And, I try! Believe me I try so hard…yet, there’s always
something that sets him off. If I knew
everything that would cause him to blow up, maybe I could avoid these little
episodes…
But, it’s hard to know everything that does. So, I just go on and on, and try to hold it
all in; until I can’t any longer!
Thank God I have places to go and things I can do to be away
from home – alone! – for a while!
Then, I can be thankful for the little things that are good;
and be thankful that we survived yet another big thing. And can remember that I am not on this
journey alone.
I walk it with my husband.
And I walk it with my Father God!
Thank you God for this journey I am on; for walking with me, and for the lessons I may eventually learn...
There is a light on the shore across the stormy seas; and His name is Jesus...
Let Him lead you to the light and through the journey.
