Write 28 Days - Day 7 - Enough

I may BE enough...

But, I've HAD enough!!





Enough feeling alone.

Enough having to justify being by myself.

{Sounds strange; to "feel alone" but to want to "be alone"?  But, that's how I feel many days.}

I "feel alone" in this journey.  I feel as if nobody really understands; or hears my silent cries.  I feel like all of the burdens and decisions of this life are all on my shoulders, and mine alone.

And...they are all on my shoulders!

The decisions, the scheduling, the transportation, the shopping, the cooking, the...

Whatever!  That is the life of a Caregiver, right?!

And, I feel alone!  Alone in this journey caring for someone who doesn't even think or know there's anything wrong; so...the decisions are on my shoulders.

Am I making the right ones?  So far I haven't had to make any really major decisions.

That time will come.

And, yes I want to be alone!  I want to go shopping (mostly "window shopping") alone.  I want to take a drive and walk on the beach or at a park, alone.  I want to not have to worry about anything but where I am and what I am doing at that very moment!

I want to get away by myself to ponder the journey; where it has been, where it is going...

Where we are now!

It's been going on for a very very long time!

When will it end?  Will it end?  How will it end?

OK.  I really don't want to hear the answers to those questions!!  I know in my head (and probably my heart too) how it ends.  But...

When it ends, will I have done enough?  Will I have given my all to doing the things that needed to be done?

Am I enough to be able to get through this and still come out at the end the person I truly am...

The person who has been pushed aside.  The one I don't even know any more...

The one who is ENOUGH for whatever comes her way!!

I AM ENOUGH!