I may BE enough...
But, I've HAD enough!!
Enough feeling alone.
Enough having to justify being by myself.
{Sounds strange; to "feel alone" but to want to "be alone"? But, that's how I feel many days.}

And...they are all on my shoulders!
The decisions, the scheduling, the transportation, the shopping, the cooking, the...
Whatever! That is the life of a Caregiver, right?!
And, I feel alone! Alone in this journey caring for someone who doesn't even think or know there's anything wrong; so...the decisions are on my shoulders.
Am I making the right ones? So far I haven't had to make any really major decisions.
That time will come.
And, yes I want to be alone! I want to go shopping (mostly "window shopping") alone. I want to take a drive and walk on the beach or at a park, alone. I want to not have to worry about anything but where I am and what I am doing at that very moment!
I want to get away by myself to ponder the journey; where it has been, where it is going...
Where we are now!
It's been going on for a very very long time!
When will it end? Will it end? How will it end?
OK. I really don't want to hear the answers to those questions!! I know in my head (and probably my heart too) how it ends. But...
When it ends, will I have done enough? Will I have given my all to doing the things that needed to be done?
Am I enough to be able to get through this and still come out at the end the person I truly am...
The person who has been pushed aside. The one I don't even know any more...
The one who is ENOUGH for whatever comes her way!!
I AM ENOUGH!