I just don't know where the time goes; or even where this year has gone! My intent, after the "write31days" challenge in October, was to link up with Kate Motaung and the Five Minute Friday group of bloggers...but my intentions, and the time, flew out of control!
But, here I am!! Ready to write a post for this week's Five Minute Friday. And, because I was so sure I could write using last week's word, Joy, I am going to merge it with this week's.
Be sure to check here for more information about participating in Five Minute Friday.
This week's word is: Now
Last week's word was: Joy
It was to be an easy word for me. My "word for 2016" is Joy! There were quite a number of posts written - in fact there are over 20; and can be found on my "old" blog, http://firstname.lastname@example.org.
Discouraged at having to create a "new" blog (this one), I guess I just let go of the Word Wednesday posts on Joy. But, so much had been heard or read about this word over the past week or so...I really thought I could do it!
Now...yes, that's this week's word!!
Now that the time has passed to write last week's post, I've determined to write this week's!
What I crave - that's another word I did write on! - What I crave is joy...NOW!
But, I am learning that it takes more than just happiness to find that true joy! It is so much more than happiness; true joy goes so much deeper...
And, true joy comes out of the depths of the soul that has experienced sadness, unhappiness, that deep inside sheer grief that one experiences at the time of great loss.
In writing all of those 20-something posts about joy, I struggled. How could I find true joy when things just weren't quite right; were certainly not happy? How could I show joy on the outside when on the inside I was hurting, deeply hurt...by one who I thought was my soul-mate.
Sure, we have had our ups and downs through the over 30 years of marriage. Yes, there have been times I wanted to leave, but...the children? And, I stayed.
Now, the children have children of their own. I have my cat...
I have the grandchildren and my other family and friends; and I am OK on the outside. On the inside? Perhaps I am grieving; I am grieving that relationship that I do not have. I know why I am still here; yet, it's hard.
But, now I know...and I do have some joy, though it may not always be apparent; at least to me!
I have Joy...Now!
And, I pray I can hold on to that joy whenever things get rough; and rougher and rougher, as it surely will.
So, now I have completed the last two word prompts for Five Minute Friday...
I need to sit down, in the "quiet" of my computer/craft room, and write more often!
I resolve to do just that!